How could i regain my love and trust to my husband?

My husband dared to cheat me for 20 years , he had coveth now in Autralia and i found out that they have sibling.when she was in the Phil. the girl secretly contacted him and i found out that they secretly meet here in Phil. Upon knowing this..i dont want him to touch me anymore even he had ask forgiveness. I have prayed so hard to forget all this happenings yet until now the heartaches that i bear never fades. Am trying to forgave him yet it keeps coming back when i saw his face. He is not a good husband actually, I am the mother and the father in the family. An easy going, boastfull a Christian yet not by heart. I need an answer that help me live in peace. Thanks